Q: It seems to me that the wedding industry is simply focused on just that: the wedding itself, and not the marriage. I guess this doesn’t really count as a question, but I wanted to kinda get your opinion on the focus being taken away from the whole reason behind the wedding – the marriage – and is centered on the glitz and glamour.
A: I love that you posed this submission for me, because I actually just had this exact conversation with a loved one the other day, and I’d love to share with you what I wrote to her!
I want to start off by saying that my blog is centered 100% on wedding & special event planning, and tips & information from an experienced, insider perspective that could potentially help make any aspect of the planning process easier. That being said, a lot of my blog is centralized on ornate, unique, and sometimes over-the-top ideas & inspiration simply because that’s what today’s engaged couples want their wedding days to be: a display of their love & union as unique as the couple themselves.
I have a very unique vantage point in which I’ve been fortunate enough to work in & experience almost every aspect of the wedding industry in its entirety, and with that I have seen & interacted with so many great couples. I’ve also been very fortunate to have had few – if any – bad interactions that were memorable enough to be worth mentioning. The many, many good interactions I did have & remember, I witnessed couples very much in love, & excited to be married- not to have a wedding, but to be married. And all of them I can 100% certify vocalized that at some point in time during the course of my interactions with them.
The thing about having these lavish, at times expensive weddings, is that couples today are treating weddings like a huge celebration of that aforementioned excitement, and they also want to celebrate themselves as a unique couple that isn’t like the rest. Hence why feeling the need to add all of these different elements to set them apart. In my experience, a lot of what gets incorporated into a wedding and/or reception 99 times out of 100 the couple will tie it back to a significant memory or something they bond over.
You’re not wrong in thinking that a lot of the traditional meanings and reasons for the big white wedding get lost in the sparkle & shine of it all, especially now with the divorce statistics being what they are. With that being said, there are still a great deal many of people that enter into these marriages fully aware of the work & responsibility it takes for them to be successful. All in all, you cannot judge all by the decisions of the few, and not all marriages that take more pride in the overall hooplah behind planning their wedding days are doomed to fail.
I’ve been very blessed to have had the experiences that have given me the insight & perspective that I have, because it only makes me love the work that I do more. I believe I can speak for all of us employeed under the wedding industry when I say that we are all here to celebrate love ✨
Q: I’m having a hard time juggling my family in between planning and everything else I’ve got going on. They’re making it as if they are living through me for this wedding and like its their big day, not mine!! Any help with my overbearing family?? Thank you so much! I love your blog!!!
A: Hello lovely! Thanks for the blog love ✨
I come from a very, very large, in-you-business-all-the-time kind of family, and your case is all too familiar, not just to me but especially amongst brides that are trying to organize their wedding plans while combatting the opinions of their loved ones. It’s an inevitable part of the process, but ultimately, it’s about picking your battles, and deciphering what is important to you that you feel the need to stick to your guns to, and what may not be important to you but is important to your friends and loved ones.
The tricky part about fighting off opinions is that this is very per-situational based, and a lot comes down to who is paying what part of the budget. If you are the one paying for the whole shindig, and you come to find there are additions or opinions your relatives feel strongly on that aren’t going to cost you extra time, money, or your sanity, I’d say throw them a bone and let them have a win! The thing to keep in mind here is that you’re including your loved ones to be a part of this momentous new chapter you’re embarking on in life, and you want them to feel included and like they had a part in it. If you aren’t the one covering the bill, or you have relatives helping to pay for portions of your event, get down to the nitty gritty of what they’re expecting to see and happen, and compare it to how you feel about whatever the situation may be, and see if you can come to a compromise or a solution and move on. A big piece of advice is to not spend so much time in drawn-out arguments when you have so, so many other little details to worry about. Give yourself the deadline to try to figure out solutions to obstacles (family members included!) within a week of it arising.
Communication is absolute key here, though, when it comes to differences in opinions; ultimately, it’s YOUR day, and they at some point have already had theirs. Remind them of this notion sternly, and it usually gives them the clue that they need to back off. This is a card that I hope you don’t have to use too often, but when used I’ve seen it be pretty effective! When you’re explaining your side of the argument, include why it’s important to you to have this happen your way, and if possible, offer an alternative that you are willing to compromise to appease them.
I hope all of this helps you to play defense, and if you need anything else that is more situation-specific, as always, feel free to reach out any time! ✨
Q: This may be a little TMI, but when I’m nervous or it’s hot outside (IE my wedding day is in the summer) my mouth dries up and my breath stinks. How do I avoid bad breath on my wedding day?
A: Not TMI at all, this is one of those questions a few of my brides asked me frequently. Within the week of your event, I would schedule a cleaning with your dentist. I cannot stress this enough, drink plenty of water on the day of, and all the time in general.
(Sidenote: this is your friendly reminder to drink water if you haven’t had water in a while! Be kind to your bodies and hydrate, folks!)
Besides staying hydrated, popping a few breath mints every once in a while will make sure that first kiss is minty fresh! AVOID GUM AT ALL COSTS. Not only does no one want to see you chomping away like a horse, gum activates your salivary glands, causing you to not only produce more saliva, but making your breath smell worse than it originally did.
If you have any more questions, feel free to give me a shout ✨