Q: I’m having a hard time juggling my family in between planning and everything else I’ve got going on. They’re making it as if they are living through me for this wedding and like its their big day, not mine!! Any help with my overbearing family?? Thank you so much! I love your blog!!!
A: Hello lovely! Thanks for the blog love ✨
I come from a very, very large, in-you-business-all-the-time kind of family, and your case is all too familiar, not just to me but especially amongst brides that are trying to organize their wedding plans while combatting the opinions of their loved ones. It’s an inevitable part of the process, but ultimately, it’s about picking your battles, and deciphering what is important to you that you feel the need to stick to your guns to, and what may not be important to you but is important to your friends and loved ones.
The tricky part about fighting off opinions is that this is very per-situational based, and a lot comes down to who is paying what part of the budget. If you are the one paying for the whole shindig, and you come to find there are additions or opinions your relatives feel strongly on that aren’t going to cost you extra time, money, or your sanity, I’d say throw them a bone and let them have a win! The thing to keep in mind here is that you’re including your loved ones to be a part of this momentous new chapter you’re embarking on in life, and you want them to feel included and like they had a part in it. If you aren’t the one covering the bill, or you have relatives helping to pay for portions of your event, get down to the nitty gritty of what they’re expecting to see and happen, and compare it to how you feel about whatever the situation may be, and see if you can come to a compromise or a solution and move on. A big piece of advice is to not spend so much time in drawn-out arguments when you have so, so many other little details to worry about. Give yourself the deadline to try to figure out solutions to obstacles (family members included!) within a week of it arising.
Communication is absolute key here, though, when it comes to differences in opinions; ultimately, it’s YOUR day, and they at some point have already had theirs. Remind them of this notion sternly, and it usually gives them the clue that they need to back off. This is a card that I hope you don’t have to use too often, but when used I’ve seen it be pretty effective! When you’re explaining your side of the argument, include why it’s important to you to have this happen your way, and if possible, offer an alternative that you are willing to compromise to appease them.
I hope all of this helps you to play defense, and if you need anything else that is more situation-specific, as always, feel free to reach out any time! ✨
All in the Details 